Beyond New Year's resolutions

I know it is tradition for some to start the year with New Year’s resolutions. However, I wonder if any of you, like me, feel that the focus on these are just not quite right.  Maybe they do not speak to you as clearly as they could?

I feel the focus in a resolution is to seek out what is broken, not liked, needing fixing and highlight the things we lack. I am not a fan of deficit approaches and here I am no different.

It is somewhat human nature to ferreted out that which if only we had, or did more of, no longer did, or gave up, changed because we dislike it about ourselves or gave up because we believe it is not good for us. Once found the inevitable resolutions are set in the belief it will fix everything and mend what is broken.   

We try to change, often in unsustainable ways, like mini dictators mercilessly driving our resolutions forward no matter what, in the mistaken belief that our lives will be better, we will love ourselves more, and we might just be content. When resolutions are broken, which they often are, this leads to self-recriminations, negative self-talk and a massive stick to beat ourselves with! I don’t know about you, but I do not need any more of these!

However, consider this; What if you are not broken? What if you do not need fixing?

I am not saying  all resolutions are bad, and I do want to be clear here, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having goals and ideals and aiming for these. Nor do I think we should stop wanting to grow, change and transform. Without doubt some resolutions are born from necessity and the need to change for good reason, such as health. But, what if there was another way to have all that, do all that without resolutions? Without the big stick?

What if instead of focusing on the smaller stuff that we forget by February (or if you are anything like me by the second week in January), or focusing on the things we don’t want, we place our sights and attention on what we want to see more of.

Consider just for a moment, if you could choose, what would you want more of in your life?

New Year’s visions

Each year bursts in with infante possibilities for us to be curious about, wonder about, and many opportunities to reinvent and reimagine a fresh who we are, who we may want to become, and what we want our life to be. We have the opportunity each year to carefully consider what we might focus on with attention and intention for the year ahead.

I wonder how this shows-up for all of you?

For me, it is more like having a glimpse at the bigger picture, or perhaps like standing at the buffet and deciding what makes it to my plate (I do like food or ‘Bake Off’ analogies). My choices, or my vision for myself and my life, are not born from things I need to fix or the places I feel lacking. In fact, these choices resonate with my strengths and the areas I want to grow. The give me a chance to reconsider things that excite me and energise me, to decide what is driving my passions and creativity. I focus on what I want more of, what I make this mean and who I need to become to manifest all of this into reality.

This does not mean there is no hard work involved, and it certainly isn’t the easy option or a short-cut. Growth, change and transformation still need to occur and that still takes focus, effort and will. I still have to do the work to realise the vision; which includes facing my demons and the darker or more shadow sides of myself. I also need to face old wounds and heal what I can, while I navigate or even negate the impacts of old stories or past experiences. But, my intention and attention is coming from a very different place with a vision of possibilities.    

Now you might be thinking, ‘yeah thanks I’ll stick with my resolution’, and that is totally fine if it works for you. However, I feel by focusing on what I want to see more of, by keeping the vision in focus, I am supported in taking a deep dive that holds extra purpose and meaning for me, and that can really make a difference for myself and in my world.

More importantly, all of this in a way that doesn’t make me want to reach for a chocolate bar or hide in a metaphorical blanket fort!

Instead of mercilessly driving myself forward (or into the ground) for a year of nothing but slog, I can embrace a vision for myself and my life with more self-compassion, yet still work towards greater alignment with my body, mind, heart and soul.

There is no big stick to beat myself with if I change the vision, become curious about something else, or if the vision just didn’t make me feel the way I had hoped. Yet, I still have directions to aim for and pathways to travel.

If you were to swap your resolution for a vision what would it be?

How does this change the feel of the year and your own inner work?

If you could pick three words as themes to work towards this year what would they be? Why?

Support from the skies above

The New Year always arrives in Capricorn. Now many of you will know this star sign, but for those who are new to it, this is a sign that resonates with the practical, with determination, hard work and discipline. Capricorns know how to get things done and the work it takes to get there, and actually when you think of the rationale for New Year’s resolutions and New Year’s visions, there has to be some contemplation for the work that it is going to take to grow and change. It will still take discipline, there is no question about that.

Capricorn’s have high standards and are all about knowing how to build the vision and see it through to manifest in reality. It might seem like the boring bit, but if change is to be lasting and successful, it does need to have a proper foundation, be grounded in reality, and we need to understand the energy it is going to take to make it happen.

In addition, this year we also have Mars; a planet of action and drive, passion and ambition, retrograding until the end of February. When a planet retrogrades it provides us with opportunities to look and look again. It provides a second chance to go back and check for anything we may have missed; any gems of learning or seeds of potential that were overlooked. Mars is a strong outwardly focused and action orientated planet, but when retrograding (and currently in cancer) it calls us to use all that energy in an powerful inward focus. It denotes a time to contemplate our inner word and strongly reflect on our actions, passions and goals, particularly on the home and family front.

Mars inspired reflective questions at this time might be:

What actions have I taken and to what ends?

What, if anything might I have missed?

How can I learn from this and how does this bring clarity into future plans?

As a warrior planet Mars might also ask you to consider: what am I willing to fight for or to ‘go to the mat’ for?

Mars in this position reminds us that it is not yet time to act, but to plan for that action so you know you have a clear direction of travel when the time comes. This is so well placed when contemplating the year ahead and what we might want to make this year mean. When planned properly the changes we might want to make to become better aligned with who we want to be and the life we want to live.

While outwardly none of us might be moving as fast as we wish initially in the New Year, this does give us all time to do the inner work; to undertake the reflecting and planning needed.

I wonder if, like me, as you hold your own visions for 2025, you will take time to revisit your future plans for deeper meaning and clearer insights. If you will take the time to see what may not have been seen before and ask what else could be? What else exists? What else? And what else? And what else? A process that can be encompassed in a vision but not so easily incorporated in a mere resolution.

What do you really want and need to bring forward into the new year?

Without this clarity, any arrow fired might not hit the target. Any goal that is planned, any pathway that is walked and any seed that is planted, may very well miss the mark and not work out as hoped or grow what we intended. We may even find ourselves somewhere we did not want to be!

Deeper still

Pluto, a planet of transformation, rebirth, power and control, has moved into Aquarius. Again many of you may already know this, it is kind of a big deal. However, for anyone who is not familiar, this really is an auspicious time for introspection, emotional growth and contemplating change. Pluto in Aquarius is a once in a lifetime influence, it stays in particular sign for around 20 years.

Pluto challenges us to consider how we step into our own power and act with agency in our own lives. It calls us to reflect on how we navigate our limitations, while addressing and releasing what holds us back, whether this is self-inflicted, placed upon us by others or by situations and circumstance. Old stories, old wounds and places we feel constricted, will bubble up with the opportunity for us to heal what we can so that we can grow and thrive.

Aquarius lends everything that electrical charge, that might mean surprises, unexpected choices or opportunities and possibilities that are more than we might imagine. It reminds us that change and transformation sometimes require us to ‘rock the boat’ and make friends with our inner rebel. After all, if we always do what we always did, we will always get what we always got. Change and transformation can require not only stepping out of our comfort zone, and thinking outside of the box but redefining the box itself.

It is undoubtedly a time of change individually, collectively and in the way we relate to our world and each other. What possibilities could you, or could we collectively envision for ourselves, if we were to redefine the very limits and parameters that we have placed or had placed upon us?

For example, rather than setting a resolution to be successful at something, perhaps our intention and attention is better spent redefining what our notion of success is. Then we can decide just what this means for us moving forward. Redefining what it is to live life on life’s terms, with open hearts and standing fully in our power, potential and creativity.

When considering a vision for 2025 you might ask:

Where do I need to ‘rock the boat’ and challenge the constraints of limitations at work in my life?

What do I need to heal first and release before I can move forward?

How does this change my vision for myself, my family and my life moving forward in 2025?

How am I defined success, power and potential? Why? And is this really true?

Concluding thoughts

I find the messages and support from the skies above invaluable in directing my New Year intentions and attentions.

Whether you choose to continue with resolutions or invest in a vision of possibilities, it is timely to consider what you really need; what really provides depth, meaning and purpose, and what is just for show. Planning carefully and with attention and intention will be essential for lasting change, growth and transformation. You will need to know your why and be scrupulously honest about this with yourself, if with no-one else.

Soul-centred approaches moving forward require us to know ourselves first, to listen to the whispers of our own hearts, and then decide how we bring a meaningful, purposeful future into fruition.

Happy New Year everyone, I wish you all a world of possibilities and transformational opportunities!